Binge & Purge: Ted Lasso

NOTE: A couple of times on the old blog I posted thoughts after bingeing a TV series. I called it "Binge &  Purge." I thought I'd bring the concept to this new space. What follows here is not so much a review of a show's quality, but how it left me feeling in this moment in my life. If you've not watched "Ted Lasso," be warned. Mild spoilers lie ahead.

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Ted Lasso operates from the theory that we're all dealing with something and only through meaningful human relationships can we adequately overcome it. Sometimes you need to watch a show at just the right time to fully appreciate it. We were late to the party on Ted Lasso. There is only so much room on my plate for the buffet of streaming services. Apple TV+ was not an investment I had made much to the chagrin of those who implored me to watch Ted Lasso. Not wanting to repeat the peer pressure that came with not watching Breaking Bad, we borrowed our son's Apple TV+ subscription and dove in last month. We polished off all three seasons in three weeks. Frankly, I'm glad we watched when we did.

The core premise of the show - American college football coach is inexplicably hired to coach a British soccer club - serves as a platform to explore mental health, toxic masculinity, our need for genuine human connection, and, I think most of all, how to become better versions of ourselves. Ted Lasso, like all great sports fiction, uses its sport of choice (soccer), to show us something more about ourselves. This isn't about soccer. It's about people. It's moving, warm, charming, uplifting, and often very funny.

My day job is mostly facilitating soft skills workshops about things like emotional intelligence, authentic and inclusive leadership, and meaningful conversations that get results. Depending on your perspective, mine sounds like either a cool gig or absolute hippy-dippy bullshit. Bingeing Ted Lasso allowed me to draw connections between its themes and the ideas talked about in my workshops. All of it is in the service of showing us characters who are determined to evolve into something better. Nearly every character is willing to learn. They embrace curiosity and express a desire to grow and mature. The beauty of it all is while each character is experiencing their own personal journey, the series shows them growing as a collective unit, a team. Friends.

One of the defining moments of the series - and the one that cemented that Ted Lasso was something special - occurs in the Season 1 pentultimate episode. Rebecca Welton, the owner of AFC Richmond, comes to Ted to confess her motivations for hiring him in the first place: revenge on her ex-husband. He originally owned the club that became hers in the divorce settlement. She is understandably bitter and resentful of the man who loved the club more than her. He was also a serial adulterer. Rebecca wanted to burn AFC Richmond to the ground and the hiring of an American who was clueless about soccer was the key. In an incredibly powerful scene played by Hannah Waddingham and Jason Sudekis, Rebecca lays it all out. She bares her soul in a moment of remarkable vulnerability. Another series might have used this as a way to depict the two as adversaries. Ted Lasso isn't interested in that, though. Instead, Ted forgives Rebecca without a moment's hesitation. 

"Divorce is hard," he tells Rebecca. "It doesn't matter if you're the one leaving or if...you're the one that got left. It makes folks do crazy things." Then, extending his hand he says, "as far as I'm concerned, we're good." The two embrace and a beautiful friendship begins. Ted Lasso is filled with moments like that. Forgiveness, grace, and vulnerability. Yes, I cried. Often. They were cathartic tears, though. There's a line in Steel Magnolias about how laughter through tears is a favorite emotion. Ted Lasso is quintessential laughter through tears.

The show quickly became very important to us not just because of its quality but also due in large part to timing. I have personally not been in a good place since the last presidential election. That has affected my mental and emotional health. Usually a positive, laid black kind of guy, current events have left me hopeless and floundering. Maybe you think that is silly, but it's my truth. Watching Ted Lasso, a show about people yearning to grow,  at a time when it feels our country is embracing its worst tendencies, allowed me to see what I've been missing for myself. The character of Ted Lasso operates from a place of openness, empathy, inclusivity, and positive intent. I used to pride myself on sharing those qualities, though, if I'm being honest with myself, I can be pretty damn selective with those. And I'm fatigued by those who we see those qualities as weakness. Ted Lasso taught me that true growth occurs from them. It also taught me that we all need each other. We're all on our own personal journeys, our own shit we're dealing with. We can go through it alone, sure, and there are times you must spend moments alone to work it out. The joy comes in recognizing others' journeys and celebrating with them. 

I loved Ted Lasso for many reasons. Writing, acting, storytelling. Most of all, though, I loved it for reminding me that art can inspire and empower and show us what happens when we all help ourselves become our best selves. I'd love to see that happen.

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Hey! I wrote a novel! Kilroy Was Here, a gonzo sci-fi tale about friendship, the music of Styx, and an alien real estate developer bent on turning Earth into a resort planet, is available on Amazon. Or, if you want an autographed copy, just email me at jeff.south.2013@gmail.com and I'll give you the particulars!