The Old Ones: Peer Pressure (6/19/14)

 

NOTE: Periodically on this new blog, I will repost some of my favorites from the old one, Upstream of Consciousness. I hesitate to call them 'greatest hits' because that assumes some level of popularity that this never achieved. Instead, I'll simply call them The Old Ones. 

The first of The Old Ones is inspired by yesterday's Ted Lasso post. In it, I referenced that I, at the time of writing, I had yet to watch 'Breaking Bad.' This brought some good-natured ribbing from friends and family. This post is inspired by that relentless peer pressure to just watch the damn show already.

'Peer Pressure' was originally posted on June 19, 2014. I'm happy to report that I eventually did binge 'Breaking Bad' and 'Better Call Saul' (which I preferred).

******



PEER: Hey, man. You ever smoke filter-less Camels?

ME: Yes, once. I didn't like it.

PEER: You should try it again, man. It's awesome.

ME: No, thank you.

PEER: That's cool. Carry on with your life.

ANOTHER PEER: Want some crack? I got some crack here? Prime stuff. You'll love it.

ME: No. No, I don't do drugs. I have no interest in doing drugs.

ANOTHER PEER: I understand. Live and let live, I say.

YET ANOTHER PEER: Hi, Jeff. Did you ever start watching Breaking Bad?

ME: No. Not yet.

YET ANOTHER PEER: What?? That makes zero sense! How can you NOT have watched Breaking Bad yet?

ME: I dunno. I just...I've been watching other stuff.

EAVESDROPPING PEER STANDING CLOSE BY: Wait...did I eavesdrop correctly? Did your peer just ask you if you've watched Breaking Bad and you said you haven't? Did I hear that right?

ME: Yes. That's what I said.

EAVESDROPPING PEER STANDING CLOSE BY: But Breaking Bad is, like, the greatest drama in the history of television. How can you consider yourself someone who loves great television when you haven't even seen an episode of Breaking Bad?

WALTER WHITE: Answer his question.
JESSE: Yeah, bitch, answer the question.
YET ANOTHER PEER: Did you just use photos of Breaking Bad characters in a lame attempt at comedy in a piece about NOT WATCHING Breaking Bad? I don't think that's acceptable. You don't know those characters. You don't know the context.

ME: I'm sorry. I was just trying to be funny.

EAVESDROPPING PEER STANDING CLOSE-BY: Not funny. This is just so baffling. Everyone loves Breaking Bad. Every-freaking-one.

ME: That might be overstating it a bit. I've read commentary that argues the show, beyond Bryan Cranston's iconic performance, is actually overrated. I also read about nine people, including Britney Spears, who aren't that wild about it.

RANDOM PEER WHO WANDERED INTO THE CONVERSATION UNINVITED: Did someone say Breaking Bad? Duuuuuuuuuuude! Greatest. Show. Ever. Seriously. Have you not watched it?

YET ANOTHER PEER: That what he says.

EAVESDROPPING PEER STANDING CLOSE BY: I'm still in shock. I literally feel. Electric currents of dumbfoundedness are shocking my body as we speak.

RANDOM PEER WHO WANDERED INTO THE CONVERSATION UNINVITED: You'll love it, man. You will. You seem like you'd like it. Especially the hate-to-love-him anti-hero of Walter White.

EAVESDROPPING PEER STANDING CLOSE BY: Since it ended, I don't know what to do with myself.

YET ANOTHER PEER: Right? It's like there's this void in my life now, especially on Sunday nights. C'mon, man, watch the show. It's slow at first, but you'll love it once you stick with it.

ME: I have heard this praise repeatedly over the last couple of years. I get it. It's awesome. All I'm saying is I've read a couple of dissenting opinions.

RANDOM PEER WHO WANDERED INTO THE CONVERSATION: So, a couple of dumbasses who wouldn't know good television if it pounded them into submission with a shovel write some nonsense and you just believe it? That's messed up. Think for yourself, man.

EAVESDROPPING PEER STANDING CLOSE BY: Yeah, think for yourself. Don't let those idiots influence you. You're smart. Make up your own mind and watch the show.

YET ANOTHER PEER: That's all we're trying to get you do. Watch the show and think for yourself.

ME: I get it. I'll get around to it. I'm not saying I won't watch. There's just so much out there. But, I do know what you mean about a void when a show ends. When Lost ended, it was tough on me at first. And my Sunday nights will feel empty when The Walking Dead ends.

EAVESDROPPING PEER STANDING CLOSE BY: I never watched Lost. Not one episode. I see it on Netflix and think, maybe I'll give it a try. But I get busy.

YET ANOTHER PEER: Same here. I've still not watched The Walking Dead. Maybe someday.

ME: What?

RANDOM PEER WHO WANDERED INTO THE CONVERSATION: I tried both of those, but they were just too slow at the beginning. I was, like, c'mon...can something please happen?

 

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